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Jeffrey Epstein Found Dead in His Cell and I’m Ticked the F**k Off!
Suicide? Give Me a Break!
The former favorite party partner of the leader of the Free World had all the goods on said leader to nail him for rape and sexual assault of multiple minors, possibly even for the unexplained disappearance of one of them. All he had to do was offer his story, photos, and videos to a D.A. in return for permission to post bail.
How convenient he was being held on federal charges in a federal jail. Even more convenient that he turned up dead this morning in his cell.
The Mystery of the Canceled Suicide Watch
He had suspicious marks on his neck a week ago (Suicide attempt? Or murder attempt?), just after he (and the world) learned he wasn’t going to be able to get himself out on bail. Accordingly, he was placed on a suicide watch, which entailed guards outside his cell at all times.
For reasons no one can answer, Epstein was suddenly taken off suicide watch, and the potential witnesses — um, guards — went away long enough for Epstein to hang himself — or for someone to enter his cell and murder him.