Lydia,

I was very touched by your essay. As someone who has suffered from a series of serious medical problems for the last 5 years, I can only thank my prior 45 years working as a single mom in high-tech corporations that earned me the right in the US to get Social Security Disability Insurance.

However, when a ridiculously clueless SSDI “auditor” hallucinated that I had made over $100,000 two years in a row when I had actually made zero, I was thrown into a situation where I had to fight to be reinstated. During those 11 months of fighting, with no agency or attorney willing to represent me because there would be no profit in it for them, if I had not had credit cards that I acquired as a direct result of my prior employment, I would have had NOTHING to live on and would have faced the kinds of choices you did as far as finding a way to put a roof over my head and food on the table. Instead, I charged up about $100,000 in credit card bills while I went through radiation for breast cancer and fought to find a way back into “the system.”

The only thing I can think of that nags at me is that for someone like you, who is so clearly smart and articulate and a talented writer, is there any other occupation like virtual part-time admin assistant, or editor, or tutor, where you could profit from the skills you have without having to perform work that you have openly categorized as unpleasant? I’m a former teacher, too, so a big part of me always wants to “help.” Sometimes this help is not welcome. And it certainly does not come from a place of judgment. Just the opposite. I can easily imagine myself in your shoes and am struck by the desire I would have to escape that lifestyle to find one where I could earn an adequate income to survive while not having to put myself through the episodes of disgust you must experience giving blowjobs to strangers.

Please keep writing here. You are good!