So apt of you to note this. And so true. Sadly, I've learned first-hand that even if you get them to love you (and that's almost impossible to do, because you've invariably purposely, albeit subconsciously, chosen someone who'd be the last person to love you), it does NOT heal the childhood trauma. Instead, you acknowledge your "win," and immediately lose interest. Then, you go on to seek out the next "challenge" to try to heal your childhood trauma by somehow winning their love as well. So does that one work? No, same result, different faces.